I somehow always figured 'there probably is' a God. During times of strife, I've pondered the various religions and 'feel good philosophies' which were fine, so long as EVERYone followed them, but left those oppressed by wicked folks to stroke themselves in a way.
I don't trust in mankind. at all. nor womankind, for that matter. we're all flakes. but i know of folks i love so much i'd be willing to die for them/in place of them. certainly, if there was a God, he'd have to be willing to do at LEAST that, too. and Jesus is the only one I've heard about who promised to do that, did it, got the t-shirt so the rest of us can, too. plus, he'd have to have an excellent sense of humor, not like these crispy starched churches and statues. and i can't tell you what a laugh i had when, while homeless and looking ONLY for cheap watertight bins to keep my books in while living in a tent in the woods, the fish store with the bins gave me two swordfish steaks as well (he claimed 'they'd need to be tossed the next day', but i suspected differently, even though he was about to toss them in the trash right then). it was funny because just the day before my husband said 'if there's a god, tell him you'd like some swordfish, right here in the woods'. :) then there's all the really cool stuff he made and the sciences in the woods themselves. hardwoods best to burn in the winter have white blotches on the bark, pines don't. a woodpecker taps a tree to 'set a trap' for bugs in sap, moves on to another tree, and so on, and hummingbirds will follow the woodpecker to sip the sap that drips. and all the times we should have been dead out of despair, and somehow knew there was a glimmer of hope in the hopelessness, even though there was no one around to encourage us. tho' i must say letters from mom or dad helped keep up the humor - which further showed that i didn't have to see someone's face to knew they existed and that i was loved. and they didn't send me swordfish in the woods. God did it again with lobster right after my husband mentioned it, and the landlord (who couldn't eat shellfish) brought it to our door. go figure.
but there's much more to faith than just seafood. :)