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Posted by GwynJ on January 27, 2001 02:19:53 UTC

why, when i WAS desperate, did i believe in nothing, and having been content with THAT was reading the bible ONLY for geological facts and came to believe when I least really 'cared'?

the begats bored me to tears, so i didn't even read through them all back then. but i was fascinated with the new test. parts about 'don't harm people, don't make them chant useless words, don't persecute non-believers', etc. it was like, CRIMINY! HOW did THIS stuff escape censorship from churches who SEEK to do just THAT?? see, THAT's what amazes me in no small part, it was like God was getting the last laugh 'yeah, they polluted the world but they still couldn't steal some of my key words!' you know? after reading more, more stuff made sense. true faith isn't taking the easy road, it just makes the hard ones less of a surprise/hope destroyer because we know that's not all there is, that there's a reason for everything, etc. my friends know me as one of the bluntest instruments in the shed, i have ferretted out and brought to account certain liars for years; esp. because of that, i don't dare try to convey stuff i don't really believe or even encourage anyone to look INTO stuff if i don't know there is something to be found for sure.

but, i really don't expect anyone to take my word for it - here, i'm only a few words on a screen. :) hope i didn't bore you! you're so handsome and patient, and athletic and modest! heehee wanna triscuit and some brie? i think you hate one or the other or both or you would've taken me up on my numerous other previous offers! haha

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