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Posted by Carlos Sanchez on June 21, 1999 22:21:39 UTC

This recent news blurb just appeared in Astronomy America. Why havenít I seen this on the nightly news?

PLUTO NOT THERE! Material submitted by Iman Joyce and Dick Warner

Recent NASA findings regarding the non-existence of the Planet Pluto have sent shock waves throughout the international scientific community. Many astronomers are calling the recent data, made by the Hubble Space Telescope, as "shattering".

NASA announced their "un-discovery" at a press conference June 3rd at the Global Orbiting Telemetry Conference on Helisopheric Arcs. "Pluto does not exist," began a stone faced Dr. Erwin Hubert. "What does exist are a series of asteroids, perhaps several thousand, that lie in a tight orbit beyond, and intersecting with, Neptuneís, which for years have been mistaken for a ninth planet." This astounding information solves on the greatest planetary mysteries about Pluto Ė itís size. "For decades now," Dr. Hubert continued, "astronomers have disagreed on the size of Pluto, and now we know...that they have been looking at different sized asteroids."

Mr. Gerald Fitzsimons of the Copernicum Society, a watchdog organization dedicated to the responsible distribution and advancement of science, called the announcement "Long overdue. I mean, honestly, have you ever seen Pluto? Has anyone ever seen Pluto? The answer is no. Why, then, have we for decades believed it to exist? Because scientists told us it was there. Because their calculations about the wobble in Neptuneís orbit needed to be reconciled. They never considered several thousand asteroids. A ninth planet was much too romantic an idea to resist."

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