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Alex, Did You Make The Wrong Decision?

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Posted by Harvey on November 4, 2001 03:24:41 UTC

I want to be a little serious (not joking around like we do sometimes).

Often when I become critical of whatever organization I find that I have an attached anger to that organization. I feel that it is somehow responsible for my unhappiness in whatever circumstance.

Since you came to the USA on your own volition I'm thinking that deep down you might feel that you've made a mistake. Maybe the anger that you are expressing to the tenets of the US Constitution reflects your dissatisfaction with *your* decision to come here.

Usually when you are negative to the organization you work for, or an organization that you participate for fun (or whatever reason), or even the country that you live, then your negativity not only reflects bad on you, but it actually tears you away from the inner happiness that you can achieve in yourself. I'm not going to recommend Buddhism (although I'm a strong believer in the tenets of Buddhism when it comes to this principle), but I think you should look at your happiness and ask yourself are you happy in the United States. If you are not happy because of the freedoms and insecurity that those freedoms provide (maybe it is overwhelming for someone who lived under state control where the state took care of many of the responsibilities that you must deal with in a free society), then it is *okay* to realize that you are not ready (or maybe not care to be ready) for the lifestyle change.

I guess what I'm saying is that life is very short. You are expressing hostility to your host country, and that is a sign of unhappiness in your life. It seems that it is tied up with your wanting to be in the secure blanket of state control, and that's *okay* to desire to be in that situation. However, unfortunately for you getting back to this situation is not possible at this time.

You can allow the negative emotions and fear of freedoms to overwhelm you, or you can address these issues and start to figure out what it will take to be happy considering your present circumstances. Maybe it is a move to Europe (e.g., Eastern Europe) where the differences between your former life and now are less severe.

In any case, it seems that you have some strong emotional ties to state control and having freedoms is very unpleasant for you. Rather than continue to live with that negative weight in your life, why don't you start moving toward ending the negative emotions? Perhaps the United States is not for you?

I hope I am being helpful. I see these issues raised so often in your posts that I think it's time to start pointing out how you can successfully address these issues.

Take Care, Harv

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