RE: [Praying out loud]
Even a prayer said out loud, can be private. It is a matter of being in your (metaphoric)closet with the (metaphoric)door shut . When payers are spoken aloud, it is by or for the release of emotion or it may be for ministering to others in need.
Regardless, it is never done for show.
RE: You do go to church?
THE church is the great mystery and I will not delve too deeply as it is likely to be certain that we mean different things by this word.
“A” church or “THE” church.
Where two or more are gathered together in His name can make up “A” church.
A local assembly is simply an instrument for use by “THE” church.
“THE” church is the unified body of Jesus Christ of which I am a member.
This is not a physical local gathering or assembly, etc.
It is the joining together of all true believers into one body of which Christ is the Head.
This is a spiritual body. Various manifestations (churches) are used as instruments of this one body to bring the good news of Jesus Christ to the world, to bring glory to God, to provide fellowship of the Spirit, to attend to the needs of the poor, etc,. etc., etc.
RE: * Grace may be enough for you, but not for me. *
This is it. This is what breaks my heart.
God will not accept any HELP in providing your salvation.
If your pride remains against God in this area, you cannot be born again (as I described).
I am not saying that you don’t do GOOD works or that GOOD works are not pleasing to God. But God will never allow pride to have any part in offering salvation to men,
Nor allow anything to take glory from His Son and the love He showed to every man by shedding His own precious blood in sacrifice for your sins. I pray there was another way, but Jesus said “I am the way, the truth, and the life:”
RE: * Perhaps I will not have to come back again. But it is likely that I will have to come back again and again with more work to do in order to make heaven come to earth. *
In Christ, you CAN know with absolute CERTAINTY that you have eternal life.
I only wish there was a better way for me to convey with the love and urgency it deserves. You may know that I have asked the Lord to reveal His loving hand to you.
His hands and His feet took the nails that we deserved, a gift we can never repay.
My love and prayers go with you, Eric %^)