We speak regularly. He answers every time I give him a chance to get a word in edgewise! (and I'm sure you have an idea of how difficult that is! haha) I don't always get immediate answers, sometimes it's 'watch and see', no surprise. But the RESULTS of the waiting have been pretty rewarding. Like the father and child reunion we spoke of recently. 7 years ago about this time i was stomping down the snowy road alone growling out loud 'GOD! WHAT do you WANT from me here? I am JUST CLUELESS! Is this gonna wind up as calamatous in the end as it seems to be leading right NOW????? No offense, but this ROYALLY SUCKS and I MUST BE FRANK WITH YOU RIGHT NOW!'

Sanity remained intact, despite 8 court assaults on us without our having a lawyer or $ for an apt (that's when we lived in the tipi in the woods), kid getting abused and no one would intervene, it was all we could do to restrain ourselves from complicating things by not waiting for the courts, then working so hard and long one never knew what day it was or if at 5 oclock it was a.m. or p.m.; being lied to by authorities (one died of a heart attack after we reported him to a conduct committee; the other is right now facing 100's of charges of sexual assault on two little boys); losing a father and brother within six months of each other, then the other fam damily saga i mentioned earlier.

But we have sanity, cognizance, even humor (though we need to work on editing our posts! haha). And feeling the freedom of planning our own future without ex spouses after 10 years, i see the money i have after bills is more still than i was making just a couple years ago. i'm amazed i was able to function well enough to come up through the ranks from being a typist.

but enough about me, what about you? how do you like me so far? this is pitiful, i have to scroll up to see what your question was. is it MY fault i'm comfortable speaking with you? YOU DID IT! haha

oh, yes, right. Does god ever answer. What. did you expect me to say i have clouds of fire every morning in my apt and hear this booming voice?
no, it's that still small voice in the heart that comes apparently from 'no where'. and i know you know what i'm talking about. whose did you THINK that was?

wasn't mine. my communications only go this far, unless you're a really close friend. but that's telepathy, and i'm not EVEN going to go there on this post.

GASP! A MIRACLE!! mark it on the calendar and celebrate it every year!!!!!!!!!!!

• Be back soon - stormcrow - January 30, 2001 - 03:53 UTC
  • it's a free world - gwynj - January 31, 2001 - 00:21 UTC