The First Law of Philosophy

For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher.

The Second Law of Philosophy

They're both wrong.



Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a philosopher?

A: An offer you can't understand.



Q: What is a recent philosophy Ph.D.'s usual question in his first job?

A: "Would you like french fries with that, sir?"



What's the difference between a philosopher and an engineer?
About 50,000 a year



Don't LOOK at anything in a physics lab.
Don't TASTE anything in a chemistry lab.
Don't SMELL anything in a biology lab.
Don't TOUCH anything in a medical lab.
and, most importantly,
Don't LISTEN to anything in a philosophy department.



How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?

D: The answer is in my 200-page, 500-equation paper, but don't bother reading it - you won't understand it anyway
H: Give me a minute... I'm still looking it up
M: Who said it needs to be changed? And who said philosophers should do it? And what is exactly the point of your question? And...
A: The answer to that question, as well as to any other question, is to be found in the probabilities of pattern-relationships given by the law of non-contradiction, except in the cases when I contradict myself
A: I don't know the answer, but I do know that all of the above are wrong



I think I'm finally seeing the light... oh... wow... my God... oh my God! I didn't know! I couldn't know! How beautiful!!!

Poof...

• Third Law of Philosophy - yanniru - May 6, 2002 - 14:00 UTC
  • Fortunately, this isn't the case - harvey1 - May 6, 2002 - 14:37 UTC
    • There you go getting serious on us - yanniru - May 6, 2002 - 23:26 UTC
      • Is that a disguised Ronald Reagan quote? - harvey1 - May 7, 2002 - 00:09 UTC
• Funny! - harvey1 - May 6, 2002 - 14:16 UTC
  • For the record II - aurino - May 6, 2002 - 20:35 UTC
    • Aesthetics? - harvey1 - May 6, 2002 - 21:18 UTC
      • Don't make me laugh - aurino - May 7, 2002 - 13:32 UTC
        • Okay - harvey1 - May 7, 2002 - 14:23 UTC
          • Exactly! - aurino - May 7, 2002 - 15:08 UTC
      • Philosophy, at its very core, is emotional. - luis_hamburgh - May 8, 2002 - 17:41 UTC
        • No - harvey1 - May 8, 2002 - 18:29 UTC
          • But... - luis_hamburgh - May 10, 2002 - 14:14 UTC
            • Not... - harvey1 - May 10, 2002 - 15:39 UTC
              • Steering our discussion in a new direction... - luis_hamburgh - May 10, 2002 - 18:44 UTC
                • I think we were discussing philosophy - harvey1 - May 10, 2002 - 19:09 UTC
                  • Nicomachus - luis_hamburgh - May 11, 2002 - 16:40 UTC
                    • Could an Amazon tribe see it differently? - harvey1 - May 11, 2002 - 20:55 UTC
                      • Ahhh, but... - luis_hamburgh - May 13, 2002 - 16:41 UTC
                        • Concept versus requirement - harvey1 - May 13, 2002 - 17:19 UTC
• Very funny!! - pmartin - May 6, 2002 - 20:33 UTC
  • If you want more - aurino - May 7, 2002 - 13:26 UTC
  • Wrong link - aurino - May 7, 2002 - 13:27 UTC
• Philosophy is forever - spazcon - May 7, 2002 - 00:20 UTC
• That was Great... - emperor__alikar - May 7, 2002 - 22:15 UTC