Although I consider your posts considerably more coherent than was Aurino's quote from a Psychology book, I still find most of what you write unfathomable. As you may know from some of my posts, I suspect that there are some aspects of reality that are indescribable, and moreover, I suspect that some (maybe all) people, in particular you, have direct access to knowledge about some of those aspects.
If so, those people are at an utter disadvantage to describe what they know to other people. When you write, you seem to confirm all of those suspicions of mine. I think it is a noble effort, however, because I think there is probably some value in sharing those kinds of insights as best we can. I don't really know the consequences, but judging from the overall progress of human thought, I think every little bit and hint of any insight any one of us has helps in this effort. That, too, is just a guess.
Thank you for the recommendation of "QED". I read the book back in 1987, but unfortunately, I didn't take any notes. Flipping through the book now, I can sadly say that I rememember virtually nothing from having read it. Rather discouraging, but on the other hand, I'm not sure how important it is to my life to understand that book.
Speaking of recommendations, I would recommend to you that you read Chris Langan's essay in his web site. Aurino posted a URL which leads you to it. I think that with your imaginative ideas on the nature of reality, reading Langan's essay will round out some of your ideas. It sure did for me.