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Where I Got This.

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Posted by Alexander on February 6, 2001 02:08:31 UTC

Well, here is how it happened.

When I slept last night, I saw a voice, and the voice told me: "Ye shall take a pencil #2 and write down what I tell you and post it tomorrow on the Internet. No, do not send it to the journals - this is no scientific speculation bullshit. This is the ultimate TRUTH the world was searching for since it lost faith in it during Florida recounts. Behold..."

Since I did not have a pencil sharpener, I said that I can not write it down, my pen is not sharp enough. We both began to think. Then I said, that there is a school supply store on the state street, and the voice decided to check it out, and dissappeared from sight. Half hour later he appeared again, and was now more greenish and said: "I was 5 minute late and they were already closed. When I threten to call a manager, they said then they'll call police".

We both again began to think - what to do.I said that I have a couple of pens. The voice said he does not trust ball pens as they frequently run out of ink. I agreed and added that they can not write in upside down position and on the cold. Although it was warm (about 68) we decided not to take chances, but think harder. Then I said that I have a #1 pencil which was sharpened and I showed it to him. He looked at it, was thinking a little and then said "Where did you get it? Somebody took mine one a few days ago and did not bring it back. Was it you?" I said, that I do not buy such primitive way to get MY pencil #1, so you sir have to look under your desk. And He agreed that it was primitive because he liked starry look of my pencil and wanted it so bad that did not think much. "Next time I'll come up with a better story, and you are right - some pencils were under my desk (when I asked someone around), and they even find some pencils ON the desk too. "Really?" I said. Well, my desk is such a mess -he said- I have so many papers all over it,and they keep coming. I am in such stress, I do not even have time to read them. Once I even found my 3-year old paycheck on my desk, and -what did you think-they did not want to issue me a new one (you know, they expire in 120 days)- they said all uncached expired checks go to the cerebrum paralysis charity, so there is no way you can get them back".

Anyway, to make long story short, we finally agreed to borrow a pen (it was #3 - hard to write) from my neighbors - he is a creative writer,and she is a teacher in our new science-inclined high school (she teaches religion, I think), 2 kids - so chances are they may have one or two pencils. So the voice went out and in 2 hours came back. This time he was looking very happy and I smell a little of Budwiser. He told that it was srictly business - he had to buy them some Bud to get that pencil, and that they were wonderful people and that they all had a good time together.

And then he told me His side of this great story. It must have been more to it, but at the end he has falling asleep a few times and then disappeared. I could only see some snorring. He seemed to be very happy after he got a pencil (he took it from me after I wrote what he said, because he said it is now His pencil as he paid for the beer), although he (the voice) appeared to be a little reddish.

So, I wrote exactly what the happy voice said, and the next morning typed what I wrote (it was kinda hard to read pencil #3 from a napkin in the morning, but I did my best).

That is how this appeared on the Internet.

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