"for it is better to do right and to be mocked"
Who said I wasn't a good person? Who said I don't have worthy intentions? Just because I don't want to starve myself means, to you, that I'm not worthy? That's kinda rough, I'd say.
Besides, I can't fast. I need to eat alot of food. I can't race on an empty stomach. Not too good for the physical body either. Kinda harsh not to eat. But I'll try it. Let's see
OH MY GOD! I had a vision. It was the Great Eggplant! He spoke to me. He said, "Thank you for not eating me." I replied, "I really don't like eggplant. No offense."
"None taken," he answered to me. I have the three noble truths to share with you."
I said back, "I would be honored to be enlightened as to the way of the Great Eggplant."
Nodding his head, he began to speak. "Rule 1: Brush after every meal. Rule 2: Always remember to put the lid down. Rule 3: Don't listen to your heart. I just makes a beating noise, and in your case, some times gurgles. Listen to your mind. Your brain is doing all the work. So ignore the heart... and the kidneys too. Those two guys are up to no good."
"I thank you for sharing your knowledge with me."
"I am honored to share it. Wanna play Yahtzee?"
And there we played Yahtzee. He won all three games, but then again, he was the Great Eggplant. He knew all. So I expected it. I then awoke from my vision.
Atri, Jisbond, YOU WERE RIGHT!!! Thank you so much for telling me to do that. Now I know what you know. Let us share, together my dear and faithful, loving, enspiring brother, the knowledge of the Great Eggplant with the world. For we should not be the only ones on the Earth who have been blessed with such knowledge.