i probably wrote it more for my benefit than anyone else's, anyway. i don't really expect anyone to have much of a care. just seemed a timely illustration for the topic at hand. i have enough joy to compensate for 'congrats' not forthcoming! haha see, now, let that be a lesson (i can say that, i'm twice yer age!): IF you become all religious-like, strike a good balance, don't let it be all drudgery/work/martyrdom NOR lalala roseyglasses and nonfunctionality. like, if you go to a neighbor's funeral, don't tell the widow 'at least he's not suffering' - she KNOWS THAT. but SHE'S suffering for the time being. bring tissues, serve water to the family members (cuz funeral homes don't think of that), and just look 'em in the eyes. let your heart show through. no words needed - they're heads are swimming with words enough. just keep being the good friend you are. but you'll probably be an even better one cuz you'll ENJOY your friendships more.