Lost Books of the Bible
The Book of Draco (the true storie of jeesus crist) Chapter 1

1.so jeesus was with his frends who al ware pagamas all day long and live togeter with a bunsh of oter guys in one
room with no gurls BUT TEHY WERNET GAY!@@!!~@!@ thas just a conisndense that they were a bunsh of guys
in pajamaps wit no gurlfrends YOU PEPLE MAKE ME SIK!@@!~!@ i cant belevbe you caled jeesus gay
!!@!@!@~ he liked big truks and hunting rifles and kungfoo mobies!!@!~~!@

2.wen he throwed the monie lenders ot from the timple he was like YOU HABE DISGRASED THE SHALIN
TIMPLE!@@!~!@~!@ YOURE MASTUR IS NO GOODE@!!@!@~!@~ I TEL YOU NOW YOURE KUNG FOO
IS WEEK!@~!~@!@ and the monie lendurs were lik FOOL JEESUS MY KUNGFOO IS POWURFUL AND I WIL
SHOW YOU THE POWER OF NIPON CAUS IM A SLOPE HA HA HA!!!@

3.and then theys had a big KUNF FOO FIGTING BATLE and its lik jeesus is losing and he gos oh no theyres got
goode kungfoo alrite!@@! and then paul shows up and goes JEESUS!!@!~@ WE GOTS MARY@~!@! WE
FOUNDED WEERE TEHY KIDNAPED HER AND NOW SHES SAFE SO YOU CAN KIK BUT!@!@~!@

4.and jeesus gos oh goode i can kick but now and he stans up in slow moton lik reels slow and eberybody gos OH
GOLY that monie lendur is in truble now BABIEE!@!@~~!@~!@~!@ and the monie lendur turns and sees jeesus
standsing and gos THAS IMPOSERBULL!@!@~! MY KUNGFOO IS SUPERIER TO YOURS I AM
INBINSIBLE@!@~!@!@

5.and jeesus kiks him in the noggin and he gos JEESUS CRIST!@~!@!@ and jeesus says SPEEKING. and
eberybody laffs cause thas the funy part and then jeesus gos HIIIIIIYYYAAAAHHH~!!~@!~@!@~! and fliks in the
aire and gos KIIIICCCKKK upside that fag slanty eyed monie lendurs hed and the monie lendur gos
AAAAAAHAHAHAAHHHHHHHHHHH!~@!~!@~!@ but no lik my broter who gos
ahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgurglgurgl mor lika big screem AAAAAAAHHHHHHHRRRGGGGBB!@@~!@ and gos rite
throu the wal i meen RITE THRUE IT it was COOL!@~!~!@ the bible is KIKS Language Removed!@!@@!

6.so then he gos to the crakhore mary and says "and i qotde` crakhore mary are you oka? and she gos wel im as
goode as a crakhore can be i gues. and they kis and he gos MARY ME CRAKHORE MARY!!!@!@ and she gos I
DOS!@@@!!@ and he gos but you gots to stop being a crakhore and she gos but it pays goode monies!!@!~@ and
jeesus says "and i qote` well... YOU GOTS ME THERE MARY!@!!@!@!@~ so he says she can be a crakhore
cause it helps her self esteme to no that peple want her and she has crak.

7.so theys go to the hil to gets maried and its gong to be hapy but rite before they get mariedsom italin naled him to
a tree WHAT IS THAT???"?"?" durty spagetee eaters@!!@!@~!@ thas no way to spend youre weding day is
naled to at re that suks. so jeesus is up theyre and paul gos hey jeesus you got naled to a tre!@!@!~!@~ and jeesus
gos "and a qote" yes im naled to a tree and it SUKS!@!~@!~@ and he loks up caus paul is theyre and gos forgive
them dad! they are dumb to a man!

8.then paul leeves and jeesus loks up and gos i jus sayd that for his benefits dad. BURN THOS GREESY ITALINS
@!~@!~!@~!@ and god gos YOURE DAMN RITE SON~!@~!@~!@ so thas why if youre italin you always go to
hel wen you die.

9.so then jeesus dies and he coms back latur and beets up more monie lendurs he gos
HIIIIYYAAAAHAHHH!~@~@!!~@ and they gos OH NO!@!!@~ ITS NITE OF THE LIVING JEESUS!@~!@
and he gos like jeesus zombee he gos I WIL EAT YOURE BRANES@~!!~@~!@ I AM JEESUS!@!@~~!@
UUUURRRRGHHHH!!@!@

10.so jeesus gos arond eating brains and being zombee jeesus caus thas wat hapens wen you die and com bak i saw
it in a mobie and it was SCARY BELEBE YOU ME!@!@~~!@ so paul and mary gos ON NO JEESUS IS A
LIBING DED ZOMBEE THAT SUKS!@~!@~!@~ and they gots to go shoot him in the hed caus thas how you kil a
zombee so they go wit a gun and zombee jeezus is eating the brains of som italin and its a LITE MEEL BELIBE
YOU ME and they gos WES GONNA FREE YOURE SOLE JEESUS!@~!@ and he gos YOU CAN NOT STOP
ME I M GONG TO EAT YOURE BRAINS!@@!~~!@~!@!~~!@

11.so they go NO WAY JEESUS YOU ZOMBEE WERE GONG TO FEE YOURE SOLE@@!~@!~!@ and they
shoted him rite in the heed!@ it was COOL!@!!@~!~@

Dale Lake`s`s Review of The Book of Draco:
*"the bible is SOO COOL~@!@~!@~!!@~"
Deale` LAkes`s Comments:
*"anywaay that is the jeesus story and it was reel neet and you shood reed it specialy the parts wit the zombee caus
thas a reel neet plottwst."
*"its a goode ting that jeesus wasnt a hampstur caus if he as it only wood tak one nail to stik him to the tree and
insted of croses wed just ware stiks "