Mike Pearson: Hi there. I hope you can objectively quantify your words on our date this evening, because it is in our best interest to be historically accurate for the sake of future dating rituals.

Date: Huh?!?!?!

Mike Pearson: My opinions of a date should be taken seriously for they convey a tight and concise description of present day techniques as I have read thousands of books on the subject.

Date: Huh?!?!?!?!

Mike Pearson: I hope you enjoy my intellectual discourse and will debate me on the various standards and substandards of academic discussions, for I couldn't choose any suitable mate without proof of all logical faculties being intact.

Date: Are we going to go get something to eat or what?

Mike Pearson: Sure, I know this great place where we can read up on the philosophical ramifications of a nation state divided by religion and secular humanitarianism before we go out to get a bite to eat at the local burger joint.

Date: Whatever


3 HOURS LATER

Mike Pearson: I hope you had a good enough time so that we could possibly engage in the act of procreation and possibly induce a pleasurable orgasmic experience. Prior to our "whoopee" maybe we could start off by treating ourselves to a few acts of sexual stimulation, in the form of pre-copulatory foreplay, to heighten the moment so that both of us.......

Date: Sorry, but would you shut the f$%k up for 1 minute.

Mike Pearson: I enjoy hearing myself wax intellectual, it makes me feel as though I am appearing super smart and my ego gets a boost so that my confidence soars to new and greater areas of conciousness.

Vantage and Ellensburg, Washington