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God's Consultant

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Posted by A. Souza on May 26, 2003 20:40:06 UTC

" To me it says that God (Consciousness) produced the Universe (Physics) by doing Math (as Dr. Dick has shown he must) "

God wants to create a universe, but since He's more into sissy stuff like love, freedom, justice, He hires a physicist - Dr. D - to take care of all those boring differential equations.

It took five years for Dr. D to figure it all out, mostly because of a differential equation that was really hard to solve, but once he solved it the whole universe dropped like a stone. Then he presented it to God:

- Here they are, Lord, the equations you must use to create the universe.

God sits to read. At first, being sensitive as He is, God is put off by the remarks about how people are stupid and such. But Dr. D argues with God that since it will take them thousands of years to figure out what he achieved in only five, they must really be idiots. God doesn't agree, but since He didn't hire the physicist for psychological advice anyway, God just ignores the fluff and sets out to decipher the equations. But the Almighty stumbles again:

- Dr. D, what is this stuff about truth, models of reality, unknowable data ... I can't make any sense of it. What does this stuff have to do with what I asked of you?

To which Dr. D replies:

- Don't worry about that, just focus on the math, the rest is all nonsense to support the math

But God gets upset:

- Why do I have the feeling that you're trying to dupe me?

Dr. D loses his patience, which he doesn't have much anyway, and tells God that he'd better build the universe using only his subconscious, because Dr D's work is obviously way over His divine head.

Since then they have parted ways, and even though God threw Dr. D's work on the big void, some people reportedly saw a copy of it circulating on the internet...

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