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My Kids Did Worse Than That, But...

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Posted by J Raymond Redbourne on November 21, 2002 22:36:33 UTC

I didn't kick them out of the house.

So the "sin" must have been something real bad For God the Merciful, Just, Sublime, etc.; to have cursed them and their progeny: the whole human race, forever; or until the end of the Great Tribulation, whichever comes first. Right now eternity and the end of the GT seem to be running neck and neck.

And then God, the Omniscient, apparently couldn't see through Satan's Halloween outfit, and in a great fit of nebulous Justice, delimbed the snakes who weren't even there.

But at least the Crocodile Hunter and his pretty lady got jobs out of it, snakes being easier to catch without their ATV wheelchairs, which God also took away, claiming it was a cheat on the punishment. It's a little known fact that snakes invented the wheel, necessity being the Mother of invention.

Then one day, having too much time on Their hands, the two old Reprobates fell to discussing Job in a callously objective sort of way. And finally after getting tired of Satan's nagging, God's' Limitless Patience ran out, and He said to Satan, "OK, go ahead; f... him."

But that's another story. (Read also the Aenead.)

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