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Alan,
The worst thing a person can do is trust his ideas too much, and apparently that is exactly what you are doing. You believe yourself first and nobody else. Where is the love in that, the love you talk about so much? When your parents implored you to reconsider your decisions and lead the life they expected you to lead, did you listen to them? Do you worry that what you say and do hurts the people who care about you, or do you just think of them as "not honest with themselves" or any one of your favourite cliches?
What is Love Alan? Is it a metaphysical, intangible concept, or is it something you practice on a daily basis? Is Love doing what you think is best or doing what people expect of you?
I have spent the best part of my childhood and youth in school, and most of what I learned never made a difference in my life. I'd rather be playing with the other kids or going out with girls, but I went to school anyway, because that is what my parents expected of me.
I hold a boring job which consumes most of my time and energy. Instead of writing stupid computer programs, I'd rather be living in a shack playing and composing music the whole day long. But I hold steady to my job, because that is what my wife and my children expect of me.
Yet I'm as happy as a person can be. My happiness doesn't come from living as I wanted to live, but rather from a much deeper and satisfying sense that the huge sacrifices I'm making are nothing but my way of expressing Love, for my parents, my wife, my kids, and the many people I care about. That is what Love really is, everything else, including that rubbish you spout by the pound is just, as Harv said, meaningless harangue.
You may choose to believe that you are making a difference, but that's not really up to you to say. You have to ask the people you love, they are the ones who know if you're leading the good life or not. So stop justifying yourself and start practicing what you preach.
Sorry for the harsh words, but I don't think there's any other way to get to you.
Take care,
Aurino |
