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Evolutionist Logic

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Posted by Kenny Thornton on September 17, 2002 21:14:44 UTC

Hmm... I think I'll go out and evolve today, you know, it's been a long time since we've done something that drastic. The internet and Professor Penelope says something like millions of years, well, I don't know about all that, I just think it's plain funny crazy... Oh well, (trip)"ouch!" oh look, i just tripped over this funny lookin rock! Hey that looks like a monkey bone! MAYBE IT'S MY GRANDPA! Gosh, grandpa, I'm glad I finally met you! It's been a long time since I've seen any of my relatives, since I have no Christian morals or ethics and choose to desert my parents and family as early as I can! So, I've been on the road for something like 2 years now, and shoes are sorta dirty... I think I'll go write a book! Hmm... Lets call it "On the origin of species", we can include our wacky ideas about how you and me are related, you know, you were so stupid and inferior, and i'm alot smarter! Yeah, we'll write a book! Do nothing amazing, no miracles, no ressurection from the dead, just write a book... I'll get alot of followers, then dump them all in the last days of my life, accept Jesus, and explain that "I was only a child throwing out ideas and this one seemed to catch on like wildfire" (direct quote from Charles Darwin). But while I'm still young I'll teach how you and me, we're buds right? Well, I know that your just a pig's tooth and a piece of a monkey skull, but we can fix that up with just a little PLASTIC!! We'll throw together some stuff we find on the ground and call it um... Piltdown! I like that name! It was my cousins maiden name before we got married! I think... Oh well, lets see if we can find some other REAL fossils of you changing into me, hmm.. Nope! Oh well, college kids will believe us anyways! We just gotta use big words like, umm... i dunno, I'll think some up... Hmm... (Slip, fall on back) OW! Wow! look at those stars! I bet they all came from A DOT the size of the period at the end of this sentence. Hey! remember what Hitler said! "If you tell the people something long enough, they'll start to believe it", so when they invent the internet, lets go online and flood the astronomy pages with things like big-bang theories, and other misfiring, unprovable, wacky ideas so when a creationist speaks up we can tell him "no, your wrong" then make fun of HIM for being unethical! Hey great idea, rock... i mean grandpa!

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