"I am 16 years old, have traveled the country, read different poetry, literature, philosophy,
learned about different religions, love the science filed, and have a great family."
Did you travel by yourself or with you family? Was it church related? Do you do anything risky or adventuresome, besides go to a soup kitchen or build a church? Where did you go?
What poets do you like? What can you say about the Jewish faith? Are there any atheists that you admire intellectually? Do you know any prominent atheists in American history?
I am sure your family is great and I am sorry to hear about your mother. My father went through stomach cancer and I know how trying it can be. About the prayer.... that is difficult for me. I don't believe that you can ask of the lord through prayer. I know it is cynical, but I have prayed enough for one lifetime and I don't see it as helpful (except for the people doing the praying - it helps them think they are doing something in a helpless situation).
"Read of atheism, agnosticism, hinduism, and other religions. Read different philosophies and open your eyes to different world views."
You said - "I have. I do."
So then you have opened your eyes to the world and given other views a chance. You have, at age 16, concluded that all other philosophies and religions are pointless and have no merit when stood up against your precious Christianity. You must be a busy little bee, with all that contemplation and pondering. Like I said, I have been searching for 8 years now, since I came out of my Christian cocoon, and I have only begun to understand (scratch the surface more like it) different cultures and religions. Only you know how hard you have tried to open your mind and heart up to different things, so no need to convince me. I believe I know the truth about your "searching", but it really isn't for me to judge, now is it.
Thanks for forgiving me of my rudeness. How Christian of you.