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Posted by Richard D. Stafford, Ph.D. on May 11, 2002 17:06:15 UTC

Yes Richard, I fulfilled all the requirements for a Ph.D. degree including publication of an "original thesis" (satisfied by an entry in the library of congress with a microfilm copy I believe) titled

"Nucleon-Nucleus Inelastic Scattering with Realistic Nucleon-Nucleon Interactions".

A piece of out and out number crunching Language Removed. Calculations which, at the time it was done, tied up a mainframe for about two to four hours for any particular run. I could do the same calculation on my desktop today in a matter of seconds. It consists of 90 pages of justifications for approximations required to stuff a straight forward problem on to an inadequate computer. Contains no physics to speak of.

It was done in conjunction with my thesis advisors research at Oak Ridge National Laboratory. They "knew" the theory was correct; in their head, the only problem was how to calculate the answers. I pissed him off when I told him that it was equivalent to calculating pie out to 1000 decimal places by hand (something serious mathematicians actually did back in the 1800’s).

Now the thesis itself was of no real value but I found it very gratifying to discover graduate students using my appendices as working references on angular momentum algebra and multipole expansions some 20 year later. When I happened to come by the University looking for a little help in publishing, I saw the university copy of my thesis open on a students desk. I asked some grad students about it and got "oh, that’s got some good Language Removed in it!" I thought it was a very professional comment indicating excellent judgment. (My appendices actually amount to over a third of the document.)

And yes, I do officially have the degree. I have a document (printed on real sheepskin) with the seal of the University signed by the president of the University, the Chancellor of the Faculty and the Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences which says "Be it known that Richard David Stafford has completed the course of study and fulfilled all of the requirements prescribed in this University for the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy wherefore this degree has been by us conferred with the Title and Privileges thereunto belonging." I am not sure I ever actually read it before; it does look pretty though: I have it hanging up above my desk.

The only "privilege" it seems to confer is the privilege to use the title. Which I admit to using. But, as I have said, I have not worked in the field. I made my living completely outside of physics.

A funny story though: once when I had hired a steel company to do some work for me and had spent some significant time with a several of the workers there, (most people back then called me "Doc") I was out on the floor explaining how something was to be done when the office called me on the loud speakers. "Would Doctor Stafford please come to the office as he has a phone call!" Several of the workers I was talking to at the time started to laugh, one said "Did you hear that? Just because everybody calls you Doc, she thinks you’re a real Doctor!" So I guess the title and privilege don’t really amount to much!

Again, I am sorry I made you angry. You shouldn’t take any of this seriously. Talk about serious, my wife just went by and told me to get in and eat lunch as we have go see "Spider Man". Now "that" is a serious endeavor!

Have fun -- Dick

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