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I Think, He Was Heavi(n)ly Partying After Creation,

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Posted by Alexander on January 15, 2002 07:50:49 UTC

After He successfully cloned multi-cellular life for the first time after 3x10^4 unsuccessfull combinations.

And the party laster 7 (His) days and 7 (His) nights - which is by by our time about 1000 million years. So, primitive multicells evolved into animals ant by the time the party was over (about 65 million years ago) the strange beasts (dinos) dominated the Earth.

He looked at them (dinos eating each other even without ketchup) and was about to puke: instead of creatures in His image modestly gathering fruits from Edems those creatures looked and behaved more like Satan(s).

In fury His Mightyness decided to slightly "adjust" an orbit of a 10-mile rock passing by Earth and to wipe out all the beasts.
Indeed, it was brilliant plan - nobody even noticed His influence on the rock's orbit, because the rock was anyway passinge extremely close to Earth.

But even He could not predict that Mars's satellite Fobos was pointing 1 degree more to the eckliptics when the rock was passing by and thus the rock was deflected slightly too much and struch not the land but the Atlantic ocean slightly off-coast from Texas.

Instead of completely wiping all Satan-like flesh eating (without ketchup!) beasts the rock took off about 90% of them and while God was selebrating, Afam could not appear for another 60 million years fighting with various species for dominance. Even after Adam first was able to get to the top of food chain, he (Adam) still did not look quite like God, but more like a beast (Satan) - with a tail, and wool all over, with black skin, moving on all 4 legs. It took another 5 million years of God's selection and mutations 'till He could make Adam look more or less in His (God's) image. It is quite tough job when you have no god's DNA to simply replicate it (God did not want to use his own DNA - to protect his privacy).

Then He took Adam's bone with DNA and mutated/selected Eve - (because Adam had to multiply, after all, and even God does not know how to multiply without a woman (that is why God does not multiply).

And that is what we have now - Adam with almost no tail, almost no wool, with almost white skin and walking almost on 2 feet (when not too drunk).

I think, this explains why dinosaurs were florishing unpunished for so long.

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