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Simple Answer To Bible Inconsistensies.

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Posted by Alexander on October 1, 2001 19:59:43 UTC

God was so proud when he made Earth and human about 6 thousands years ago, that after the project was completed he decided to have a REAL party (not unlike boring pretentions "to be one happy divine family" He was already sick and tired of many times before). So, he sent invitations to everybody (including even Satan's staff too, which never happens before) and sent angels to the liquor store around the corner of new universe (He did not want to give them directions but it turns out that they knew this store wery well).

Angels did a very good job for Him, but (as usually any good subordinates do) well overpleased him (by the amount and strength of the beverages they could find in that store). Money were not the problem for God (in fact, angels discovered that God had a business account in that store with 10% volume discount).

And indeed, it was REALLY GOOD party, and everybody became true brothers ans sisters (at least for time being). Even Satan was crying into God's suit and was repeatedly calling himself "low traitor", and God was calling him "my poor child" and also "forgiven, forgiven, have one more glass here...".

(We should mention, that during official ceremony - just a few hours before - Satan in his sober speach justified his staff's acts not only as a strictly business activities ("...we traditionally do what our customers pay for", "... we try to deliver quality service on the budget and on time" "... our statistics shows that we usually exceed customer expectations" , and that "our policy is not to disclose customer's data"). He also reminded in his speach that his company's motto is "In quest for the alternative truth", because he (Satan) truly believes in the democratic and "opening minds" values of "second opinions" versus totalitarizm and limitations of official "the only one truth" philosophy.)

Deep into party everybody were really happy, and God even ordered to award Satan by a medal "For honesty and bravery against official authorities".

So, few days later when God decided to document his creation acts in his lab notebook (Bible, Quiran, etc.) he still was not quite sober yet. Neither were his referees who suppose to correct technical discrepansies and ambiguities in the sacred text, nor the translators the text (they actually are very good specialists of various education and backgrounds, but they are just angels after all - you can not blame them for some small weakness in such rare circumstances).

But God had no choice to delay the preprint any longer - Adam was already there (on Earth)and he (Adam) begin to be curious about where everything around him came from. Thus, Adam's and Eve's education should be completed ASAP, before they started to learn on their own.

We even know that the manuscript still was not quite ready - only few oral directives to Adam were issued from the above by the time Adam and Eve started to investigate universe by themselves.

So, God had to hurry with the manuscript, especially after He learned that his competition (Satan) also works on alternative "How things work" manual.

But everybody knows that if you are in a hurry and under pressure (and especially if shortly after a very good party), then many things can (and easily do) go wrong.

That is exactly what we see in that premature publication of raw experimental data, which we now call Bible (and as well as in its sloppy translations called Quiran, etc.)

And that is also why the well thought-out Satan's manual (which the competition was working on over many millenia, publishing it step-by-step over long time, and which some now call "scientific explanation") fits observed facts way better than half-baked Bible, Quiran, etc.

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