I honestly had to look up the definition of the word ignorant. Ain't that a gas? No joke. It's kinda like someone not knowing the difference between "Dumb" and "Stupid". I always assumed that when someone was called "ignorant" that is was an insult. I know quite a few people use it with that intent. But simply, if I get this right, ignorance is being blessed with a lack of knowledge. Lack of knowledge is not a bad thing. It means to me that I just don't know. Probably more through the lack of experience. There is nothing wrong with that. I just can't hold arguments intelligently with respect to the topic discussed. Yes?
So I learn. Simple. Logic.
But when it comes to belief, and myself, I find that I do not follow a path of logic, with respect to "a believer". Honestly, because of what I have thought during the past fifteen years or so, my beliefs have been tainted, especially when it comes to Judaism. Could I be construde as a "bad Jew", not really, but I've stepped over the edge a bit, and questioned certain religious aspects/happenings. I've read a good portion of the new testament. I believe in GOD, though I have total faith in what GOD stands for, in my mind, I have convinced myself that GOD is different then what my religion has believed for thousands of years. I belief that, just like a watch that keeps track of time, the bible is a guide, it is more of a moral teacher so to speak. There are good things that the bible teaches us, and in some cases it's very contradictory to itself. So, I take the parts that make sense to me, and I look at what each passage attempts to convey, and I take it for what it's worth.
When I started thinking differently than my religion a bit, I believed that I had a firmer grasp of GOD, I felt that I have become more of a Jew in many respects. I guess someone might call it or see it as "having a special relationship with GOD. GOD and I have an understanding if you will". So, what has this done for me. I think that it has allowed me to become a person who can relate better with others. That's a plus. It has allowed me to listen/understand better. I am not a hard-liner when it comes to others religious beliefs. I can see what they convey, truth or not (in my mind), and where they come from. I have come to accept that others have beliefs, and not to tread on them. To me, that's wrong. Again, like I have ventured off the beaten path, and looked at the new testament, I allow myself to hear/listen to others religious viewpoints, no matter how orthodox or reform. Example: Some people are not homophobic. They can converse with another person of the same sex who is a homosexual and not be afraid of them or feel uncomfortable. I feel that I am not (I will call it) Theo-phobic. I feel that I am so solid in my beliefs, through this special relationship with GOD that I've achieved, that anyone, no matter how steadfast/orthodox they are, could not sway me one inch. So, I can have conversation lets say, about Jesus and what he has put forth to the people who believe, and understand it, even compliment his directives/commandments. I do not believe that Jesus was the son of GOD, but in all fairness I say. I was not there. So who am I to judge. Does this destroy my faith according to Judaism with respect to the existence of GOD because I can say "I wasn't there", I don't believe so because, in my mind, I choose to whole heartedly beleive in GOD and the existence of. I have no doubt in my mind, that Jesus had good things to say, and that can't be bad? Can it?
If I take the bible, new or old testament, to be a guide to being a better person. How can that be bad. It can't. I don't believe that all things written are solid and factual. Does that make me a person who has no direction or foundationless.
Well let's travel down that path for a bit.
I am proud to be a Jew. The only parts about GOD that I question is that I don't believe that GOD has always been there. That I cannot accept, yet whether a person is Jewish or a believer in Christ (In some form or fashion), those people blindingly choose to believe that GOD always was and always will be. I have a very difficult time accepting this. Why? Because everything in life, and I mean everything, does not happen in that fashion. I also believe that GOD had to learn, just as we do, and I would go as far to say that GOD had to grow. Just as we do. GOD just did it first and (as Carl Sagan says) has billions and billions of years of experience and knowledge, and we cannot fathom the size of that knowledge or experience, yet it still may be measurable to some degree. It's definately a perspective thing.
So, I do break the bounds of the vision of GOD with respect to the mass norm of belief. But I feel that I do have foundation, and a strong one.
I am a very logical person, and incredibly analytical. But I do believe in GOD.
I usually follow science in it's footsteps and it's methodologies. But I do believe in GOD.
That maybe even more confusing to some, and appear to be very contradictory due to the fact that it does not follow a solid path. I can see where people think that I am a confused individual in certain ways.
But I'll tell you this, and correct me if I am wrong. Let's put me to the test.
I believe that GOD cast the first stone, but had to learn how to cast it. After the stone was cast, nature took it's course, and has ever since the beginning of what we call time. I do believe that GOD can do anything and is the almighty, but that nature (physics) in a kinetic sort of way, keeps on going. Life flourishes in places, and in others it doesn't. Not by GODS will, but by the way worlds, and areas of the universe propogate or don't propogate life (as we know it). I understand that planets, based on mass, size, and distance from their stars, remain the way they are, or give birth to some form of life, and travel around Sol at given speeds because of there characteristics, not becuase a man on a chariot pulled by horses has a rope attached to earth that makes it go around. Some choose to believe that. We just happened to get lucky, and first it was one cell and then conditions were favorable for change. Here we are. Adam & Eve were created, I take that to say that we began our existence at some point, whether there were apes before us or not, or one cell, or Sue "The Dinosour". I wasn't there, and neither was anyone else. Except for them. Right now, with absolute diligence, we are making efforts to understand our beginnings, maybe to foresee our end, find peace, or simply to complete the puzzle. But I am pretty sure that it's all in effort to find our meaning, our reason for existence. Do I think we were an accident, NO. Do I think we were put here on purpose, I don't know? I do believe that wrapped somewhere in our DNA or souls we know. We just can't look deep enough. Yet!
Is it as simple as conditions were favorable on our planet for life, no matter whether we evolved or not, that makes logical sense to me. My ignorance right at this moment prevents me from telling you how the growth puzzle fits exactly together. But my common sense tells me that we were not complex from the start. We were very simple and became very complex. That's the nature of growth/evolution vs time, I think. That's what makes sense to me. But I still believe in GOD. I still believe that GOD cast the first stone. Deeply. GOD was the first. GOD created the heavens and the Earth, and is capable of anything, including casting the stone in such a manner that allowed for us to come into existence. Right here. Right now. It's the unexplainable that I (we) choose to believe in GOD. No foundation of evidence, no real proof or writings of some sort. Except one thing.
We are here, and all of what we see around us is here. For our couriosity. For our discovery, For our fascination, For our knowledge, For our amusement, For life...
Now the other side of the coin is that a group of scientists/astronomers/astrophysicists firmly believe that they are getting closer to the big bang (or what they feel is the beginning). I know that all of this, GOD or no GOD, reason or no reason, is part of an ongoing series of actionary/reactionary physical events. Who knows, us believers might find out that there is no GOD. What will we do about that. Well honestly, I don't know if anyone has really given it some serious thought. But like the scientific community moves forward and reaches out in discovery to find our beginning, the believers in GOD, through faith, as rash or irrash as it might seem, will continue to believe, and hold on strong, like the unquestionable scientific facts that have been proved.
So I choose to believe two sides to varying degrees. A Mix. My coin has not landed with heads face up, nor has it landed tails face up. It is still rolling around on it's edge. Forever rolling. I can see both sides. Sometimes one side looks better than the other, and other times the other side looks just as good.
But I do know one thing. One thing for sure.
I am breathing. I am living. Thinking/sharing these thoughts with you and all people in this forum. And beyond.
That much I do know is a fact. Undeniably.
And with luck, and GOD'S good grace, I will be tomorrow too.