I wrote this in a reply to Alex; thought I'd place it in the general arena too:
Are you willing to try any of these experiments?
You must take full responsibility for the consequences if you do.
They are extremely dangerous. You will likely find it necessary to quit your job and do only freelance short term contract projects.
Your world as it currently is may be destroyed. You may find it necessary to dramatically change your priorities.
Note this: study U.S. society- and to understand the present you must learn about the past. Same with geology, cosmology, regularity-finding in nature (physics/math) and so on.
Thus there is a strong logical argument: To understand YOU, you need to investigate your history, ALL of it, from YOUR PERSPECTIVE.
Otherwise, how can you be sure you haven't compromised yourself under past (now blocked-out) duress to the point that you are lost in an act-put-on-to-yourself/put on for your society?
In a very quiet place; just listen. Quietly notice what exists. Notice the sounds in the distance. Notice the tendency to voice your thoughts in your head. Try seeing how long you can quieten this internal chatterbox.
Notice all phenomena in your consciousness. Notice fleeting visual images in your mind. Notice tendencies, mental operations, every phenomena no matter how tiny or if there is no word for it.
Existence is what counts here; that which exists may be noticed and later documented. This is a no-prejudice ultra-objective ultra-scientific investigation of reality- all data, all feelings, desires, sensations, tendencies, use of standards- are the subject matter.
(EXTREME DANGER: you may become too 'self-conscious (highly self-aware) to become 'unconscious' (sleep) You may have to quit your job.)
Try to 'catch yourself' at the actual moment of falling asleep. May take some weeks of trying.
As you lie in bed- notice all phenomena in your head. Get good at quietly documenting what goes on
and write it down later.
Apply the value of total honesty- do not deny or repress any phenomenon. This is very gentle- you don't 'make' yourself 'go against the grain' you just notice everything including any misgivings you have about anything. You are letting reality be. Not forcing it. You are letting yourself be.
If you stay up late working and get so you keep almost falling asleep- in this state you may be able to grab enough data from near-sleep lapses to uncover the sub-layer of less-logical-seeming vocalised thought patterns beneath the usual daytime voice-in-your-head thought process.
You may also uncover more than one level of sense-data replay- including a level; where a sound seems realistic and external. The word "hallucination" should not be used as it is vague and prejudiced. It is just as real to have your eardrum vibrate from a live band as from a CD; or to have the neuron pattern associated with that reactivated at different levels of realism. Each is a different type of REAL experience. A mistake or illusion is a separate issue. The word 'hallucination' muddles and combines two opposing concepts: making a mistake; and: correctly identifying a phenomenon for what it is.
Write down what you can recall, especially what has most nostalgia associated with it; going back through your whole life. So you get a basic time-line of your life; and for early memories as there is less recalled, write down all you can; going as young as possible.
Write down dreams you recall from over the years;
all experiences associated with any difficulties in life; document new dreams.
The following attitude makes a huge difference over time: Do not deny anything you ever did, thought, or felt, at any age; no matter how silly it looks from the perspective of another age (eg. the older you). Take ownership/ responsibility for your past behaviour, thoughts, etc. If something looks silly- that is another piece of data- one does not deny the feeling of 'sillyness' either. Thus every bit of data gets to be potentially noticed and 'registered'. (It should be obvious how such a non-repressive attitude can start to dissolve the barriers to early recall.)
Exploring new discoveries
During experiments 1, 2, 3 (carried out concurrently over weeks/ months; the idea is to investigate further via self-awareness and 'data-gathering' and intelligent-exploration whatever new discoveries eventuate. It also helps to know someone absolutely trustworthy (rare to find) to carry out Experiment 5 where one can trust someone so much that without going against the grain one can keep nothing secret from them (thus discovering what lies behind the fear).
Anyone who does not try these experiments is left to merely speculate about the legitamacy of the results I obtained; or expose logical inconsistencies in my results.