I am a Christian because:
(a) I was brought up that way
(b) Comparison with other options has not been persuasive enough to change
(c) Certain teachings of Christianity are not only practical necessity for human beings to get along with each other, they reach a deep sense of what is true.
(d) from 19 to 17 years ago; I was sufficiently dissatisfied with aspects of life that I began an investigation (encouraged by the concept of investigating one's early history to explain the present) which led to a series of spectacular discoveries. Some crucial information was gained when I experienced recall of events when a newborn baby. This information I noticed had obvious correlations with Christian teachings. Thus I obtained an independent verification of aspects of Christianty.
For a very abbreviated (but rather lengthy) tour of relevant data:
(Warning: Extremely serious and dangerous subject matter)
1. I realised around 1983 that the key to understanding the present, is to know the past. To know one's own internal view of one's past is desireable; just as in history, the version of events of a native people must be known, not just the version of an occupying army.
2. Many people feel something is wrong with the world; hunger, violence, disasters, tragedies, unsatisfactory life-state, etc. So this awareness of 'something's wrong' may be a motive for making an investigation. I found the values of honesty, self-responsibility, trust, non-prejudice, to be necessary.
3. Such values are integral to science also. I investigated my history; found it mostly blank before about age 4. Recent reports show that some babies exposed to music three months before birth, recognise it at 1 yr age.
Given that recall is available at early age; perhaps people will begin now to wake up to the shocking censorship-nature of the widespread suppression of each personal history.
4. As well as writing recollections, with little before 4; I investigated and noted dreams and dreams from the past. I investigated the internal world of thought and awareness. I quietened the 'chatter-box' of internal language-thought, and allowed my mind to wander, while noticing whatever phenomena occured.
5. I decided to investigate sleep, and to catch myself at the very moment of falling asleep. (Dangerous: involves risk of life-revolution/ financial loss). I had an experience where a 'noise like a jet engine' occured in my head. I was in a sleep-like state but had a corner of consciousness sufficient to document and control phenomena. So I slowed the speed, and the pitch lowered, and I realised the sound was a high speed audio-data track of my past. I slowed it down further, and amazingly a picture track evolved from the sound track.
6. The visual-sense data track was say 3yr per second speed; I slowed it down further. Just before I got a clear view of what the images/ sound were; it felt too dangerous to bring it to real-time speed and I 'woke' up from the partial-sleep state.
7. I knew from then that I contained a complete record of all conscious experience and sense-data. This view is backed by independent findings by neurologist Oliver Sacks in work with people 'frozen' in past times. I continued to explore inner space, having many amazing experiences. For example, experiencing the sense of my body rising and floating and rotating in space above my bed (while knowing what it was; just like you can hear a band play but know it is a CD but it may be just like there's a live band).
Apparantly this is a 'sense-data' replay; it is real, not a mistake; just as a 'CD playing' is a real phenomenon.
If you listen in a quiet place, you may notice a 'transparent' 'singing of silence' background 'sound'; it is from here, possibly a collection of standing waves, that the sense-data tracks seem to be derived.
8. I had an experience where I became as a very young child. So serious were these experiences, I decided to investigate further. I decided to pursue a state of unlimited internal honesty (thus maximising the data available to me). The idea was no-repression, even the tiniest bit of an awareness that may have no word for it, may be noticed and registered. Every voice gets a hearing; thus, very gentle, as any objections to anything also get a hearing.
9. One day, I was writing about reality, and what I wrote seemed so accurate, so deeply true; that my left hand curled up like a newborn baby's hand does. I soon experienced awareness of events when a newborn baby. When I was just born, my spirit-body co-ordination was different. My spirit transcended my whole body and could occupy the space of my future adult body.
10. Humans appeared to be living-dead by comparison. I communicated with my twin brother by mutual-thought awareness. I appeared to be capable of teleportation. I expected humans to know me directly spirit-to-spirit as I knew my brother (no name necessary). I recalled first hearing my name. I recalled 'switching off the sense of sound' when going to sleep, and remaining spiritually conscious when asleep.
11. Having been separated from my mother, put in another room; so distressing was this that I tended to die in this unnatural world; but it didn't work. I expected my mother to fix what was wrong with the world, but realised I would have to do so myself. On not dying, I hesitated about changing into an unnatural body-spirit state.
12. My brother would see right through such a false state; neither of us wanted to change first. In the event, we both did it. I changed such that my spirit seemed to enter to be trapped somewhere behind the eyes. I saw my 'false-state' future as I changed state, right up to...
13. In my investigations of reality, I was open to new discoveries. I got to the stage where instead of the just very brief very accurate glimpses of past awareness that people have when they think of a past incident/ or experience nostalgia; I would get longer glimpses. I got to the point where my entire past could become available to me; I reached the edge of total recall. To go beyond that edge would be to change body-spirit co-ordination back to the right state again.
Regarding curious experiences; one notable one was seeing, with seemingly another dimension of vision, the spirit, of a young child (in a pram) in a shop. The spirit extended some way above the child; analogous to a puddle of water vertical in the air. The child looked at me in absolute amazement.
14. Now; some other 'inner space experiences' I had:
One experience I had, was of being trapped in a dream. I 'awoke', but it was not a real 'awakening', I was still in the dream; and had a real struggle to get out! Really very much like those folk in the movie 'The Matrix"; my consciousness had entered the virtual-reality of my dream; and was trying to evaluate what was real, and trying to get to a real-wake state!
15. In this dream, I tried my light switch- it didn't work. I tried the other switch- no go- a sense of urgency developed, frightening all the time. I tried a home-made torch- didn't work- I went into a passage and banged on parent's room door- My mother got up. I was sitting in my room with the light on, next to her (All this is a dream) (At this point of time I think I'm awake but I"m not!)
16. I "start to go to that strange area in my head again"
and grip onto and hold tight to my mother- I don't want to get trapped in that area- struggling to get out of this, to get awake- (So I've realised the first 'awakening' doesn't quite add up)- I bang accidentally into the wall (still dream incidents)- that helps start me on track to get out of this- I (in the dream still) go out into the hall- look at the hall light- trying to get my eyes open, to be awake- thought maybe have to keep struggling with this to resolve..... really try.....actually start to get out..... come right out of the situation waking up in real-life exclaiming 'wow'.
17. Anyone who knows about what is called 'sleep paralysis' will note there is this phenomenon of people trying to operate their eyes or voice or limbs yet seeming to be disconnected from getting them to work.
18. A very very serious discovery: (These reports date to around 1983/4/5): I was sitting, at about 11.45pm in the living room/ lounge. I had been 'letting my mind wander'
and had slipped into some sort of neither asleep nor awake state. I was aware of the rain on the roof and was in a peaceful sort of state and had been thinking various things. Someone came to the door of the room.
19. On seeing them I yelled and yelled in horror for about 15 seconds! What I saw, was absolutely shocking. They appeared to be 'vacant', a living-dead! I knew what they were, this was not a neurological-type situation of 'no-face recognition', as well known in the neurological literature. It was a case of no-spirit recognition; apparantly no spirit! This is extremely, extremely shocking to witness; and is rich in information about the human condition.
20. This living-dead state is how we can appear to newborn babies. In the movie "The Sixth Sense", a boy talks of people who 'are dead but they don't realise they're dead".
I'm suggesting that adult humans in general are in a dead-like state already, but they are blind to it. Fortunately they are not completely dead, and have a chance to 'change state' while still alive-dead.
21. Getting back to what happened: While yelling in horror at this sight; I was aware that it seemed as if my own state was transcendant- while letting my mind wander peacefully, my spirit had apparantly drifted out of me and partially extended just above my body. I was in a spiritually vulnerable state. I did not want the 'living-dead' person to take control of me. Fortunately they stayed at the door. He seemed at one stage that he might intervene, but stayed there. Note: I had the presence of mind to notice all this!
22. He seemed initially astonished, then seemed to have worked it out: that I must have been asleep. He later observed that sometimes people try to cry out in their sleep but their voice doesn't seem to work. He figured maybe I had had such an experience, but that I actually managed to cry out.
23. It took me time to realise who he was and to decode his facial expression to 'see' his spirit.
I talked to the person afterwards about philosophical issues I think; and became aware of apparantly 'layers and layers' of repression within them; and of that, should I give the word, so to speak; they would fall to the ground in convulsions and have a body-spirit revolution and change into an alive-alive state.
24. Well, heavy stuff this; at least here there is a witness to some of what I describe. Investigation of consciousness and so on requires that one not censor reality; say it like it is. Gallileo reported what he saw through his telescope, regardless that the authorities of the day thought it impossible that there be moons orbiting Jupiter and planets orbiting Earth.
25. Once, I fought a 'spiritual battle' in my head; while in a sleep-like state. A 'physical evil presence' seemed to be trying to take over me; I fought it off, sort of was a battle to secure my spiritual boundary against invasion.
As a newborn, I became aware of a 'physical evil presence'- this incident may be very revealing about reality. The 'evil presence' seems to have equated to a fundamental physical threat. Patterns not in harmony with nature and driven by will; may be sensed as 'evil' by those in harmony with nature.
26. When I was a young child; there came a time, maybe about 4yrs, when I realised if I wanted I could detect the language-thoughts of people; know what they were thinking. I refrained from doing so, as it seemed it would make life dangerous. Consider though: it is said that when the apostles preached after the ressurection of Jesus; people from many different cultures were gathered. And they exclaimed about "how was it that these men are from Gallilee, yet each of us hears them in his own language?"
27. When you consider that patterns can be mapped into different representations, and into different dimensions; it is not so difficult to understand this miracle; or how one might 'hear' thoughts of others.
28. One day, years ago, I was at a ski resort and people were taking a very steep slope absolutely straight. There was a safe run out, so I decided to try it. I found that I accelerated so fast, so surprisingly, that soon 'I couldn't keep up with myself'. After the run, I realised that I had not momentarily gone unconscious during maximum speed, but had gone 'differently conscious'. When I 'couldn't keep up with myself', my moment-to-moment awareness-center seemed to become placed outside my body, and could see in all directions at once. An 'out=of-body' experience!
29. Once I tried something called 'a vertical slide'. It starts vertical, then slowly curves to a long out-run. When I tried it, the surprise of momentarily free-falling was accompanied by a 'heart-in-my-mouth' sensation. It seems that one's brain creates a model of one's body's position in 3D-space. The model hasn't had time to up-date the notion of where one's heart is before free-fall has delivered one's mouth to the same space-location!
30. So you get an overlap. But this discrepancy might only happen in 'wrong-state' of spirit-body co-ordination. There appears to be a slight time-delay in all information processing while in the 'wrong state'. In the 'right-state', you always 'go with yourself'. You are 'in phase', like a human laser beam. Not so surprising, about possible teleportation ability when in the 'right state', then.
31. If you were to tackle the 'high jump' at the Olympics; you would want as much as possible to feel like you are 'going with yourself' over the jump, not hanging back. Sports people talk of 'an unconscious' innings, where they have faster reactions and see the ball sooner. One ski-racer described their best runs as when "nothing goes through my mind". "The Inner Game" books of W. Timothy Gallwey talk of 'self 1' the interfering chatterbox, and of 'self 2' the child-like relaxed concentration (flowing, faster, more in phase with nature).
32. Try to jump off a height that you are not comfortable with, and you become aware of the need 'to go with yourself'; and the difficulty of 'bringing yourself' to jump. In the 'right-state', one's spirit and body would be in perfect harmony, and in perfect harmony with the creation. It would be as if every move was an immutable law of physics; as if the very air parted to let you through. It would be as if you were related to every atom in the Universe; you would feel the sense of being created right now! That's my impression.
33. When very young, I had the sense of having to compromise more and more about reality. It seemed as if an unnatural mass was forming in my head. Given recent studies that show the flexibility of the arrangement of pattern in the brain, and the strengthening of repeated pathways; it is not surprising that 'wrong pattern pathways' would feel like an unnatural structure forming.
34. Eventually, less and less of 'real-me' seemed left in the day. I tried to keep a trace of the path I had taken so as to one day reverse it; but eventually had to exile 'real-me' into the world of sleep. A coded tracer remained in wake though; fortunately this 'resistance movement' sufficiently sabotaged me when older, that I ended out decoding the message and began undoing the wrong-paths.
35. Other curious phenomena I have experienced include: apparantly briefly seeing with my eyes closed; and re-experiencing the sense-data of hearing my mother's voice when I was an infant (I didn't understand the words; but adult-me knew they could be understood by adult-me).
Other experiences: Re-experiencing a vice-like grip on me (from when a young baby); and experiencing parts of my awareness from when very very young. Another comment: Someone I know took a sky-diving course. Of the group who did the jump, he was about the only one who recalled anything about it afterwards!
Interesting subject; about the rate and nature of human processing of information; the possibility of slight time-delays from un-natural body-spirit co-ordination; and possibility of suppression of meta-physical experiences.