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Posted by Jim Bergquist on January 13, 2001 06:56:35 UTC

Your argument is difficult to follow. You need to define terms better. The terms you use seem like the variables of an equation that must be solved for meaning. Is your argument intended for a professional audience or for the general public? If the latter, the presentation should be simplified considerably. The transitions made are a little too abrupt. If you are trying to build a solid foundation for knowledge there needs to be more. For an introduction to a subject one could probably get away with less and ask that the reader take more for granted. For a thesis one must clearly prove one's points.

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